“I realized then, that I carried some type of strength in life. I was like ‘If I made it through that, I can handle something else.’ But I didn’t think life was going to happen to me like it did.”
Chicago was very different from the south. You would see a lot of things. I mean you would see people do drugs just walking down the sidewalk. I’ve seen a man get shot right in front of me. When you heard gunshots you automatically knew to lay down on the ground.
We moved away from there when I was 8 and moved to Racine, Wisconsin and we stayed there until I was about 14 years old.
I think I had the most fun there. I caught the bus to Milwaukee every weekend to go to church with my grandma. That’s where I became more family oriented, with my grandparents in Milwaukee.
Family is all I ever desired. My mom didn’t have a lot of time, raising 5 kids by herself. When I was with my grandparents I felt like an only child. I got all the attention.
When I moved here, (Osceola) I didn’t like it at first. I ran track, that’s when I felt like I belonged.
Our team made it to district right before I went back to Wisconsin to visit my friend for her 14th birthday party. Everyone was having a good time, until this man pulled out a gun and started shooting.
As I was running away from everything, I was shot in my thigh, it went straight in and out.
One month later, I still ran track and won first place at district. I realized then, that I carried some type of strength in life. I was like ‘If I made it through that, I can handle something else.’ But I didn’t think life was going to happen to me like it did.
I ran track all the way through highschool. I got pregnant at 16 had my son at 17. I was crazy over his dad because I always wanted a family. I had my son in 11th grade, but senior year, I didn’t get all of my credits due to my son being sick. I was always in and out the hospital. It felt like I was doing it on my own.
I started to become depressed. Aside from my son being sick, my boyfriend was cheating on me. I was embarrassed going to school. Everywhere I went, in the bathroom, wherever, the girl would write their names together and what they were doing all over the stalls. In the yearbook she would sign their names ‘together forever’. All of that was really hard on me. I dropped out January of my senior year, but I went back eventually.
I got pregnant again at 19, then again at 20. The relationship was horrible, but I wanted my kids in the house with their dad so bad. I was in love with the fact that I had my own little family. But it was hurting my kids because he was hurting me, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I still tried to be with him. Until I found out I had kidney disease.
I was at work and all of a sudden i noticed that my feet were swollen. The doctors kept testing me and when the tests came back it said that I had renal failure. By that October, I was on dialysis, at 27.
After finding out I was born with kidney disease, my kid’s dad didn’t even show up to the hospital. That’s when my life changed right there.
Even though I was with that man, I was by myself. He was in the streets. I tried to be that girl that supported him. I had my goals lined up. I bought a vehicle and was like at ‘30 I’m gonna buy a house.’ Then the sickness just took it all like a rug from underneath my feet.
It took me all the way down. I lost my vehicle, I had no money. I was in the hospital while my boyfriend was in the club with the girl he was cheating on me with.
Eventually he went to jail when I was 29. I left him for another man, and got engaged. He swept me off of my feet. But I soon realized that he wasn’t ready, and neither was I.
He had a temper and one time almost ran me and my kids off the road. There was this pressure to stay with him because I left my kid’s dad to be with him. I tried to justify it, so I would just take the abuse. I was scared to talk about it to my friends or anybody.
I didn’t have a cell phone, my car got repossessed, I was barely paying bills. He had control over everybody I talked to. He knew how long I was on the phone. If I went to hang out with friends, I was on a time schedule. This is the man that swept me off my feet at first.
That was when I thought a man justified me. I thought me having a boyfriend or a man was a part of being a woman, I think it’s a southern thing.
Eventually, I got my kidney transplant and felt like I had a new life, I had just started back working getting my feet back planted. but 8 years later, my kidneys went back into rejection. I had left all the abusive relationships alone, but the sickness still came, and it came hard.
I was in and out the hospital. Come to find out, my transplant kidney was infected, when they had to remove it, I had none. I got even more sick.
In 2020 I was in St. Louis just visiting family. I had a heart attack and died twice. Thank God the hospital was only two minutes away.
In those moments I saw two different scenes. I saw a group of black people in all black. The ladies had umbrellas dressed like they were in the 1800’s. The men had top hats and canes. They were walking really slowly. I remember just thinking ‘who’s funeral is this?’
In the next moment, (they said that I flat-lined twice), everyone was happy. There were Mexican people, Black people, White people, Asian people, old people, young people. We were all in this room like a family reunion.
To me the first part was death, and the other part was life.
I was on the ventilator for like a day, and woke up handcuffed to the bed. Before I woke up, I heard church music, my mom was playing it in my ear the whole time. They say when you’re intubated you can’t hear, but I heard it.
Afterwards, I was put on a life vest, so if I had a heart attack or anything, it would shock me to stay alive.
Last year in June, I flatlined again. I was at my sons house and he kept asking ‘Mom are you okay?’ I was so dizzy and I was looking at him, but not really. He ended up calling an ambulance. I couldn’t breathe. They asked me questions, but I didn’t understand anything they were talking about.
Next thing you know, I woke up handcuffed to the bed with tubes down my throat again. I didn’t know what happened. They flew me over on the helicopter. I woke up and realized God saved me again.
So many people that are going through sicknesses come to me. I get inboxes like crazy. I guess they’ve seen the strength in me. I still kept a smile on my face. I still fought. I died three times, altogether within the last three years. I think God got me here for a reason.
Life will make you make some crazy decisions, but for anyone going through any sickness remember that you can’t give up. Even if the doctor’s say you can’t make it through, you’re going to make it through. Don’t nobody got the answer to that but God. No one can tell you what your destiny is.
I wasn’t supposed to be off of that life vest in two months. My heart function wasn’t supposed to go from 25% to 50% in two months. I remember the only thing I kept asking God was ‘Lord, give me a kidney, give me a kidney.’
But then I had to realize last year when I got on the helicopter… you can’t just put no kidney in no sick body. It’s like putting paint on a ragedy car. So I just said, ‘God just make me better.’
Finally, they found out that I had a mass on my esophagus, and in my lower intestine. It wasn’t my time yet to get a kidney.
I got out of the hospital, I went to a specialist in St. Louis to get the mass removed from my stomach. It’s a small procedure that just takes thirty minutes. They go in and they try to take it out and it bursts. So now I’m bleeding internally.
This thirty-minute procedure turns into me dying again. They didn’t know what to do at first. And the nurses told my daughter to call my family. They didn’t know if I was going to make it.
My daughter told them to do whatever it took for me to survive. They told her ‘Okay, we’re going to discuss with some more doctors,’ but as soon as they walked out of that room, my daughter said I lifted up and spit out blood. To me that was the blood of Jesus saying ‘Come now! If you wait any longer she’s not going to make it.’
When I vomited up that blood they had to take me in. They cut out part of my stomach. A day later all I remember is hearing church music. My family had prayed over me.
God is the God of all gods, the healer of all healers. He saved my life so many times. Every time I wake up, I say ‘I’m back again ain’t I?’
I was supposed to be in the hospital for two months. I was in there for 10 days fighting myself out. I was in ICU, critical care, on a feeding tube. It was the hardest to come out of. I didn’t just sit in my sorrow, I didn’t just sit in my mess. I made myself walk, I made myself sit up. I had to learn how to walk again, eat again. That was my greatest victory.
I was born with kidney disease. I wasn’t a smoker or drinker when I got this. I just wanted to raise my kids, get married and have a good life. I kept asking God ‘why me?’ He said ‘because you can handle it.’
I’m here to help and encourage people that go through sicknesses. I’m telling you, I get all kinds of inboxes. They be like ‘Coco, I just think about you when I’m sick. If i’m going through something I just think about you. If you can handle it, I can handle it.’ I tell them ‘It wasn’t nobody but God’. I know it’s not in vain.
-Coco H.
