Freedom: What it is and What it Isn’t.
As children, many of us could not wait to experience the “freedom” that came with adulthood. Turning 18 meant making our own decisions about our lives, not having to answer to anyone, doing exactly what WE wanted to do. If you had a no-nonsense mother like myself, this was the type of freedom you longed for.
I got my first real taste of this so-called freedom after graduating high school and moving to another state for college. Back then, freedom to me meant doing what I wanted in any and every way. I thought, “I’m free to eat whatever junk I want. I can go and hang out with whomever, whenever. I can try whatever new thing I wanted to try with no one here to tell me ‘no’.”
So that is what I did! And for a while it worked out for me. I wrecklessly ate burgers and fries in the cafeteria; Chic-Fil-A and Pizza Hut in the student center. I had friends that would skip class often, and I’d be there right along with them, (not missing a beat with any homework assignments because I had someone to get notes from). I tried smoking weed, and thought it was pretty cool.
Things were going great at first. There was no one there to stop me from doing the things I wanted to do. I was free! But then somewhere in the middle of my second semester, I realized I gained a lot of weight, around thirty pounds. By my junior year, my grades had slipped to the point of me almost being placed on academic probation. The summer after that, my experimenting with recreational drugs took a turn for the worst.
There were many instances that I realized that those behaviors needed to change if I wanted to live a healthier life. Despite knowing this, the habits gloomed over me day after day, month after month, year after year. I would try turning things around, but my efforts were never consistent. It was then that I realized that real freedom, (at least to do what was best for my livelihood), was not in my grasp.
There’s a quote by Paulo Coelho that says, “Freedom is not the absence of commitments– but the ability to choose– and commit myself to what is best for me.” At that time, I realized I was unable to do just that, and it eventually made me suffer. I was not experiencing freedom.
With all of that said, understand that if you cannot easily do what is right for your well-being, you may not be experiencing freedom. It’s a lot more than just doing what we want. If we can’t commit to what makes us healthy, happy, and shows that we love the life that we’ve been given, then what use is doing “whatever”?
